Resolutions Shmeza-lutions

Okay, so my quitting soda pop for one year is out the door.  I did go 8 days straight without having a pop, which is really good for me.  I now have had about 7 pops for the month, which is waaaay down for me.  I am a one a day pop drinker and only having 7 pops by the 16th puts me at about 50% reduced.  Whoo hooo!

So, resolutions never work for me, because I set my goals way to high so that they are unattainable.  I truly need to learn to take small steps instead of trying to fix things (namely me) by leaps and bounds.  No wonder I give up on myself because at times I am too hard on me.  But there is also another draw back I can be too easy also.  Grrrr…really need to find a balance.

Balance is truly one of the most difficult things to find in your life.  I aways seem to go to one extreme to the next.  By learning how to slow down and pace myself it will help me focus and bring balance to this chaotic life of mine.  Okay, here goes small steps this week:

• I will track my calories on the www.everydayhealth.com.
• I will try to not have a pop this week, but if I crave one I will allow myself up two.
• I will go to the gym at least 3 times.

Okay, I think these are doable.  I really want my focus this year on learning to take better care of myself, respecting myself and doing things I will enjoy.  I have lived on auto-pilot long enough and it is time for me to go live instead of hiding in my townhouse away from the real world.  If I want to change it begins with me and my thoughts.  Time for a new me for this new year.

Weigh-in Monday…I mean Wednesday

So, I am a little late in posting my Weigh-in for Monday due to staying home and vegging and I do not have internet at my house.  I weighed myself today and I am 179 lbs, which doesn’t mean much because I am good at losing one pound.  I have made a resolution this year and I really believe I can stick to it.  Okay, here goes…I…am…giving…up…pop…yikes!

 I am giving up pop for one year and so far I am 4 days in and going strong.  Now, lets see what this will look like by next Monday hmmm.  I needed to do something because this weight does not sit well on me.  I am also still working towards my other goal of running two hours straight by May 20th because that is when the Colfax Marathon is and I will be running the half.  It will be my 4th half marathon and I am looking to do better time.

I begun to realize that I eat and drink things like soda-pop and I don’t know why because it doesn’t taste that great to me all that often so why do I continue to stuff this crap into my body.  It is habit, a bad habit that has been easy to continue to do because I have become mindless at it.  So, I am working on not being mindless with my eating.  So, here’s to a new year of being mindful of myself and eating and drinking.  I new year and a new body.  I here I come now I gotta go to the gym and run for awhile.

Dreaming My Life Away

Dreams can be fun, amazing scary and creative.  I have always been a day dreamer.  The escape into my own imaginary world drew me and still draws me to this day.  It was a way for me to have what I want that I couldn’t seem to obtain in my physical world.

In my dreams I look freak’n amazing, toned, shaped and gorgeous in my eyes.  I always have a fun and exciting personality that draws people, especially gorgeous men who look like Alcide from True Blood…yummy yummy.  Also, I have amazing luck with jobs and money and I am nothing like I am in real life but, oh, how I wish I could be that woman in my day dreams.  I always wondered if I can dream it, it must be within me to become that person who I dream of.  Or do I dream too big?  Or dream of things that can never be within my reach?

I feel as if I have being dreaming my life away.  Sometimes I look forward to closing my eyes at night so I can let my brain go wild with wonderful images of adventure, love, acceptance and change.  I know it is a form of escape and I need to learn to live in the present, but my present is not what I want it to be and it seems when I do make major changes, such as quitting my awful job, I still can’t bring about what I desire in my head.  My path I am meant to take seems very elusive and I never seem to stumble onto the right one.  Is there truly one path or multitudes and it is okay to jump one to another?

My dreams should really be turned into stories to share because, boy, do I come up with some amazing scenarios and funny incidents.  I will work on living more in the present and I am learning to truly love the woman I am today.  Dreams can become reality it is just a matter of how bad I want it to happen and how hard I am willing to work at it.  I will learn to pick the dreams that are obtainable and true to the person I am and who I know I can become.

Monday Weigh-in

  Well here is the before and after pictures, usually the one on the right is the before but unfortunately it is the after.  I have gained over 50 pounds in the last 10 years.  The left picture which was taken two years ago was when I lost 20 pounds put only because I was barely eating.  And let me tell you I was sick all the time, had the shakes and dizziness, probably from not eating enough.  I looked amazing for my sister’s wedding but the weight staying off didn’t last long because…well…I like food and started eating full meals again, and not only gained the 20 back but ten more and hit my heaviest of 190. 

When I hit that weight I was miserable and on top of it developed a back pain that wasn’t going away.  I am in my 30′s and don’t need to feel and act like I am 90 but I felt that way in the beginning of the year.  The funny thing was I still ran a half marathon in May and it only took me 2 and 1/2 hours to complete, I was down by then to 160 lbs which was due to a stressful job that helped me drop 30 pounds in a month…can you say unhealthy.   So needless to say after I quit that very stressful and unfulfilling job I gained all the weight back again (sigh).

So, here I look at the end of a year and the beginning of a new one and I have decided to grow up.  Yup, I am going to finally act my age and learn to eat my veggies, fruit and lean meats.  I really love sweets (oh Pepsi’s how I love thee), and Carbs, lots and lots of Carbs.  It is time to lose weight the healthy way and to be happy with my body.  I am a big believer in loving yourself no matter the shape and I do love me, but I plan on loving me more when I lose the excess weight around my middle, plus I want to be a healthy for myself and so that I look better as I age instead of, “That girl who used to be pretty.”

Here are my starting numbers for this coming year and keep in mind I am only 5’8:

Weight: 180 lbs

Waist: 34 in

Hips: 44 in

Thigh: 25 in

Arms: 12.5 in

Okay, here I come 2012 I want to dig out the body I know I have.  I want to become that athletic woman I know that is kicking to get out.  Time for a new way of living and eating.

2012 here I come

2011 is coming to an end soon…phew.

It has been a crazy year of weight gain, back pain, and a baby boy.  Choosing happiness by taking a leap of faith and leaving a job without a job in place and only three months of savings.  Meeting my brand new nephew who means the whole world to me.  Helping my sister and her husband move up to Fort Collins.

Getting two jobs and working 50 hour weeks but I still have time to begin to create my own life now.  And that is what I want to work on for 2012.

I am tired of myself and ready to begin change in my life.  I have been a big dull dud for the past 10 years and the time has come to stop just getting by and to start living.  To stop  using excuses for why I am the way I am.  Change is gonna happen ya’ll.  Here is a few points I am going to be working on:

Weight Loss

Running two hours straight by May 20th

Joining a Meet Up group at least once to two times a month whether it be a running group, book club or a wine tasting

Finding my professional job

Writing 15 minutes a day

Finishing painting the trim in my closet

Save up to remodel my master bath

Actually go on a few dates this year, didn’t go on any for 2011

To cut down on my TV watching

I really have a lot this is only a few things I want to do and try to change through out the year 2012.  This blog is for me, a journal really to talk about my ups and downs and how also one of my goals to write it every day…so now I gotta find wireless internet everyday.

Well, this single woman needs to go to bed.